Jun 26, 2010

Self-Worth #1s
Freedom to Sex
Sexual Control
Sexual Know
Able To Partner
Childhood-Story:
From age 3 - at bedtime - I tell Monet stories from my childhood.
I ask her what age she wants me to be in the story - then I remember.
"5". .1943, .OK. .
Mom has the measles. She has red spots all over her body.
The Doctor comes; she must stay in the dark, be taken care of, and
she will be fine.
I bring Edie grapefruit for 3 days.

I hear:
I like it when it's clean over here too.
Childhood-Story:
Best-Sleep-Walking .1950
Our rooms are separated from the house and separated by a bathroom.
Frankie wakes me up, "What are you doing ?!"
I'm standing in his closet peeing into his shoes.
I hear:
Well, your psychiatrist called and asked questions.
Well, she wants to know if you're still hearing voices.
I told ...

Jun 19, 2010

? Phillip Glass and his Baroqueness, 1600-1750 ?
Phillip Glass' AncestorsLiving in the Venetian Ghetto, someway

Assimilating Vivaldi-Corelli-Albinoni-et al.
Perhaps finding Handel somewhere in
Germany or Italy or England.
Certainly. someway. cohabiting with JS Bach.
Magic all around.

Jun 15, 2010

Walked and Looked for 3 hours today.
Not one picture.
Losing it ?!
Edie lived and carried on 'til 89 years.

Moses would say, "Ha ha ha, Dad. You'll be 72 soon enough !".

Jun 14, 2010

Growing up in Ojai at Thacher, Mom and her cousins do
horse-camping over the mountains into The Sespe.
Looking for warm a Diamondback shows up in Edie's bag.
Edie is in it.
No coil .. No strike !
Last night a slug moves into our inlaw-rental.. dust-panned !

Jun 12, 2010

1959 Mt Meisner, near Eschwege, Germany
We lived as an Army pod in their countryside.
No wonder they went along !
Wonderful New Tenant:
First-'Reported'-Slug-Inside-The-Castle-In-25-Years ! .You da Man, A ! .And da Man, not picky-squeamish, .will receive extra attention! .With a Smile, Dude - You deserve it! .Slugo is poison - don't wanna compromise other aspects of your life. I put some outta your reach - rt of sink, way back & across 'front' door way. .Keep slippers n flip-flops handy - slide feet ? - night light ? - call kinglette! .Singing, "WE SHALL OVER...THIS GET TOGETHER" ! .A, If you get back at a decent hour, 8 - 11pm and are in your usual Socialist-Sci-Guy-Mood : summon me - I bring treasure ! 5 mins ! .(In any event, no offense taken here with 'no summons'! . Another kludgin' time !) Rest up, A.. An eventful night w/o contact-lenes in the offing (of slugs), .Bill

Jun 10, 2010

I log:
Tar-driftwood-stones-seaweed-sand-shells-shorebirds-crabs-starfish-and then in order of find with No Duplications Allowed:."Keep Out" buoy, stingray carcass, dead seal, tennis ball, Bud beer can, chunk of foam, seagull wing, bright green cloth entangled in silver cable, huge crab claw, feather, bamboo stick, rusty pipe in 3' concrete block, crushed plastic coated wire cylinder, 1/2 gal plastic bottle, pink foam flip-flop, 5" x 9' black rubber banding, lizard, pine cone, film canister, 5" pink plastic tube heart, palm branch, 10' rusty 4"diameter pipe with a pointed end, 11' rusty steel girder, 2' diameter stone model of 'Stonehenge', apple core, 3/4 of a Rt. b&w Nike, 17" of motorbike tire, toy tire wheel, 1' scrap of naugahyde boat cover, 2" x 1" x 9" plastic box, fiberglass surfboard fragment, bottom only of a 20" fisherman's boot, 5' x 6' piece of jagged tar paper, 750ml Bacardi bottle, 5' nasty carpet bundle, plaid shirt fragment in wire mesh, red plastic comb w/handle, piece of gray plastic trashcan lid, 7' fragment of black felt, yellow Bic lighter, 6" yellow toy shovel, yellow plastic rope mess, 4' x 5' x 2' crab trap, 3' black rubber hose, left med gray fabric glove, rt leg of blue pants, used napkin, pink plastic bubble blower, pelican carcass, piece of white pom pom, Starbucks big cup, tin foil clump, airless red balloon, green stuff in a 1qt Bell jar, orange peel, rusty linkchain between 4' rusty posts, real big tractor tire, 3' concrete chunk w/embedded rebar, tangle of hemp rope around 2' white plastic pipe, real neatly stacked dog shit, 12' x 12' concrete slab w/3' pipe hole dated 1927, 'rescued' n happy: 3 Great Danes & a huge deaf white Pitbull, tied off green plastic bag w/dogshit?, baby seal seemingly almost dead-just croaked at me-what to do at 11:30AM -nature- 5:30 PM gone after high tide, Dragon graffiti on sea wall (there since at least '79), cartilage, umbrellas, 9 surfers: some old guys-women-Latinos-yes!, diving pelican, orange coral, big conch filled with tar. And folks, I've been on this beach since 1942
, never before: for 5 days - at different times- this, 'back n forth, whirling and twirling, up n down the beach, non stop, amazing dancing woman !' Rincon Point, Carpenteria
Happy Birthday MonetThirty Five Years Gift
For Us !

Jun 9, 2010

Childhood-Story:
1944, I'm 7 - It could be A. Phillip Randolf himself !
Mom takes Frankie and me on the train from LA to Boston.
Black men help us.
Sleeping car sleeping ! White table cloth dining, silverware, water.
Men in military uniform drinking and smoking in special cars - I roam and spy.
He gives me a stick of real Wrigley's Spearmint Gum. I know the War.
Then to Kennebunkport, Maine, to stay at the Dane 'beach house'.
The Atlantic Ocean is chopping-splashing. It will let us swim, "Watch it !"
I am more than free to climb the rocks, find friends, fish , eat hot dogs.
It goes hours without seeing a relative. We smoke coffee in straws.
Pinball machines are big-color-fantasy. We row boats, crawl the sand.
A bandaid does for my palm what 15 stitches should. It still looks nasty-good !

Jun 8, 2010

Jury-Rigged/Jerry-Rigged:You know the game,. a word-phrase starts with a person
and gets whispered around the circle
"jury-rigged" .could become ."jerry-rigged"In his writings the 1616 John Smith uses "jury" (nautical) as "rigged"
Plus! clinging to my family tree - both sides Mayflower -
he marries Pocahontas .
Gifting me Native-Anglo "rigging" !
Don't folks just make this stuff up and send it to Salt Lake City ?
Thank you A,. "kludge" will work just fine - never mind "jerry-rigged"

Jun 5, 2010

BILLDANE.COM - SIDESHOW 'views'I bought this Flickr-view-check service a few months ago.
At SIDESHOW the 1982 picture from the Ivar Theater
has recorded 250 'views'. . All others have 0-15 views !Garry Winogrand pictured - could be relevant ?

I have 100s of 'marginal' Ivar pictures somewhere(some with Garry - Garry has some with me).
Do I owe it to my family to dig 'em out n hustle ?!
Never mind.

Jun 4, 2010

Childhood-Story:
Bad Dreams
From '1941 - '1965 they are usually about war battles and escape.
During the Korean War I actually start jumping out windows - asleep.
This is not good in hotels - in the army - I stack chairs against windows.
That stops around '65 when teaching dreams take over !
I'm always struggling to maintain order.
Don't have the slightest idea what I'm supposed to teach.
Nothing works.
I still have them - Even with Subbing - Anxious every time - Too bad, BillyBoy.
And then there's cuckoldings and my children in danger.

Jun 2, 2010

Another 'imagined-quantum-leap-for-mankind' !?
Yes
We rent an in-law-apartment in our house - Survival!We have a new 2 year Chemistry PhD Guy - good fellow - til 2012.
Getting a new tenant apparently means working for 3 weeks. Fun.
He gets an eccentric place with funkies aplenty ! I work on it.It's that very fine feeling: making-doing-with-head-and-hands.

Keep finding new stuff to improve. Good times.
Childhood-Story:
1950, Jack Hawley
Edie knows people.
The frustrated psychologist and the parents need a home for their boy.
My Single Mother 'relieves' them all.Jack is big, strong, 13 and psychotic.
We shoot baskets together for hours.
Jack stares at himself in the mirror.
I show him how to do our 7th grade at Wilson.
He never bothers me - knows I'm kinda ...
Jack's last minutes in our house:
He's alone with mellow-comfortable brother Frankie, 10.
Jack has Frankie on the floor choking . screaming
'The answer ?! ..What's the answer ?! ..Tell me how you do it !'
The neighbor who never passes through our yard ..does .saves Frankie.
Three years later Jack chops up his mother. Dives into a 60mph-16 wheeler.
FUGITIVE SKETCHES

Jun 1, 2010

Childhood-Story:
1980? The Fraenkel Gallery decides to 'represent' me.
2010? The Fraenkel Gallery decides to 'associate' me.
It's news to me.